So I got my first delivery of toys for review – The Clone-a-Willy and the Clone-a-pussy. Has anyone tried these? What did you think? Toy Tester, Jimmy Dangler will be testing the Willy & I will be testing the Clone-a-Pussy. Stay tuned for the first hand account. This sounds like a great option for COVID safe sex.
I think most of us would agree that hugs just feel good. The Chakra Hug is like a superpowered hug on steroids. And, with the current COVID crisis, I can’t think of a time when we need this more.
Sit with your partner in the Tantra “Yam Yum” pose pictured below. Arms wrapped around each other. Foreheads touching, noses touching, chest touching and solar plexus touching. Stay in this pose for 2 minutes focusing on your breath. One partner breathes out while the other partner breathes in.
Commit to doing this with your partner for two minutes daily for one week and talk about how it made you feel and what benefits it brought to your intimate relationship.
Hugs heal. They boost oxytocin – the bonding hormone. This helps to heal sickness, depression, feelings of loneliness, anxiety and stress, and creates intimacy within the relationship. Holding hugs for extended periods can lift serotonin levels increasing feelings of safety and happiness.
Kissing releases a chemical cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin and seratonin. These feel good hormones can improve relationship satisfaction, lower cholestorol and even aleviate anxiety by lowering your cortisol levels.
Plus, kissing passionately can burn 2-26 calories per minute!
You would never assume how someone likes their coffee so why would you assume you know how they like to be touched? Ask…don’t assume.
An Ontario Court has ruled that a man who had unprotected sex after agreeing to wear a condom committed sexual assault because his behaviour invalidated his sexual partner’s consent.
This is a win for Canada and a win for consent culture!
Sex is a leading reason why relationships fail.
Why?
Because you don’t know what you’re doing.
But why would you?
Did you take a course? Did you join a program? Do you have a master’s degree in sexuality? If you’re like most, probably not. And even if you did, no amount of formal training would negate the fundamental truth that every body is completely different.
The only way to truly master the art of sex is to set aside your ego, clear the slate and communicate openly with your partner.
But that’s not as easy as it sounds. Asking questions is admitting that you don’t know the answers. But here’s a newsflash…neither does anyone else.
Because we’re all different. And what works for one may not work for many.
But what if I told you that mastering the art of sex is just like learning how to swim?
You have an expert coach and mentor on deck. That’s your partner. You can ask your coach any question about swimming because they are the SME (subject matter expert). After hearing the lesson, you dip a toe in the pool. Try treading water. You learn the dog paddle. Maybe you make a few mistakes along the way. But you keep asking questions. And before you know it, you’ve entered a swim meet, you’re doing the butterfly and your coach is loudly cheering you on as you expertly cross the finish line wet, glistening and out of breath.
And, regardless of who is the coach and who is the student, you both have an important role to play. You are equally responsible for achieving a positive outcome. And you should both practice playing each role.
As the student, you must let go of your ego and embrace your fears. Accept that you don’t know how to swim and listen to your coach. Otherwise, your EGO will get the best of you and you’ll either avoid swimming altogether or you’ll jump right into the deep end and look like a flailing, sputtering, drowned rat. Once you’ve truly embraced that you don’t know what you’re doing because every body is different, you’re ready for your first lesson. It starts with an ask. What do you like? What feels good? How would you like me to do that?
Ask. Listen. Practice. Repeat.
Don’t judge. Don’t criticize.
And as the coach, you are responsible for designing the lesson plan (like a desire map) and communicating it in an honest and loving way. You could provide feedback like “I love it when you…”, or “I appreciate that you do……………. but it just isn’t for me”, or “I was reading about…”.
Create safe space
Don’t judge. Don’t criticize.
The sooner we can embrace that we don’t know what we’re doing, the sooner we will become better lovers, better partners and better friends.
And in the words of one of my favorite authors, Esther Perel, consider this… “The myth that sex is natural has done harm to so many people because it presumes that you should just know rather than the fact that it is something that we learn to appreciate…to experience…we cultivate it. It’s an art. And if we think it should just happen naturally…then we remain ignorant.” ~ Perel, Esther “I’ve had better” Where Should We Begin (podcast) https://www.estherperel.com/podcast
Photo by Moises Solorzano on Pexels.com
Many of my friends think it takes a lot of courage to attend lifestyle events either at a house party or a club dedicated to open minded people. When I tell them about taking an entire trip at a lifestyle resort, the shock, horror and disbelief is tangible. Think about it… going to a bar where you can have sex is a big step for many but at least, it is close to home and you can escape if it is too much for you or you can suffer through it for a few hours until it’s done if this is really not for you. On the other hand, planning, packing, flying and spending thousands of dollars for being immersed in the culture for an entire week… that’s something else all together.
My partner and I have been to Hedonism three times so far. To tell you the truth, these are our best vacations. Not because of the sex, simply because of the freedom to be who you are and do what you want. Vanilla people visualize a resort where there is a constant orgy and you can’t distinguish who is touching who. Obviously the reality is far from that. You have a choice between prude or nude areas. Even if you choose the nude pool, doesn’t mean you will sex with anyone. Mingling is a bit closer and friendlier for sure but everyone is respectful and no one is at risk of doing things they don’t want. Most people get to know one another and if there is a good connection, they usually take their new friends to their rooms or to a more private area. If jumping in the middle of a pile of naked bodies is your activity of choice, there are plenty of opportunities usually later at night if you know where to look. If you decide to go to Hedonism, choose your week wisely. Different groups attend at various times of the year. Try and find a group who is similar in age and demographics as you. This will certainly improve your level of enjoyment.
Even though you don’t go there for the food, meals were always good with a great selection. The resort is under new management and they are renovating and upgrading every year. It is a slow process but the facelift is evident. As someone who loves to dance, I am quite partial to the entertainers and I fell in love with many gorgeous female dancers who twerked their way into my heart. I was ass hypnotized to say the least! Every night has a different theme and the more you dress the part and participate, the more fun you will have. When we went the themes were hat and heels, glow party, foam night at the disco, character night, fetish, party like a rock star and toga party. Our suitcases were filled with costumes. Very little clothes were worn as we were naked the rest of the trip. Always fun to explain if they choose to search your luggage!
Coming back to reality is always difficult. These are the hardest vacations to come back from. We are already talking about when we can get back there. Until then, we are lucky that we have a place like Eden which is very similar to Hedonism. Love the freedom and playfulness of our theme night events where we go meet old friends and make new ones 😉
Pillow Talk with Dr Renee
The 9” Real Feel Deluxe Vibrating Dildo by Pipedream is a great toy for more experienced couples looking to mix things up or for a new angle on multi-partner play!
Compared to any other dildo in my tickle trunk, this one is by far the most realistic. But at 
9” in length and 2” in diameter, it’s a BEAST which means that I would recommend this one for more experienced players. If you are new to multi-partner play and strap-ons, or you’re just starting to experiment with some pegging play, the REAL Feel Deluxe will be about as intimidating as an Amazonian Anaconda. But once you get a few strokes under your belt, this makes for a great upgrade that can be a lot of fun!
I just happen to be one of those girls that likes a little role reversal. I’ve used lots of dildos in my day on girls that like girls, bi guys, and guys that just want to try a little prostate massage, but to be clear, never on my current boyfriend who will appreciate me clarifying that “no, this will never penetrate his virgin hole”.
So why do I like the REAL dildo?
Well…for starters…it vibrates. Anything that goes buzz in the night gets an extra gold star in my book. Vibrations generally equal more pleasure which equals more fun for him and her.
It has a suction cup base that attaches to almost any smooth surface. Position it at the perfect height to suit your mood and thrust your way to a mind-blowing orgasm while your hands are free to play with you or your partner.
It’s completely waterproof so you and your partner can enjoy wet and wild play in the tub, the shower, the hot tub and more.
It is strap-on compatible so you can use it in a plethora of pleasure plays (that’s my “triple P”). If he’s into pegging, put it in a harness for hands free penetration. If you just happen to find yourself in a threesome (either FMF or MFM) or foursome, well…let’s just say that this toy can be fun for everyone!
It mimics the softness of real skin and has a lifelike appearance with a pronounced head and veins leading to a more pleasurable, realistic ride.
Overall, this is a great couple’s toy and not much needs improving but I’m a huge advocate for safe sex so here’s my plug…
Safety first! If you plan to share your toy between partners, put a condom on it. This toy is porous which means that bacteria can find a way to grow. I ALWAYS sleeve my toys and this one is no exception.
Secondly, although the REAL Feel Deluxe claims to be phthalate-free, like many adult toys, it is also advertised as “sold as a novelty only” which means it lacks regulatory accountability.
For more information on this, check out this article – The Safety Dance: Sex Toy Safety in a New Generation.
Putting a condom on your toy will not minimize its pleasure. Just be sure to pick up a package of extra large because this bad boy is a beast.
Enjoy the toy!
Eve
Founder of Club Eden a Fantasy Club for Couples
and Sex Get Over It (Blog)
I’m so excited….I learned about something new today – the Female G-spot enhancement procedure, otherwise known as the “Gshot”. The “Gshot” is a simple procedure whereby a collagen shot is introduced into the G-spot to enlarge it to the size of a quarter. The supposed result is increased sensitivity and heightened sexual pleasure. As part of my ongoing pursuit of achieving maximum orgasmic pleasure, this is now on my bucket list.
Has anyone had this done? Can anyone recommend a doctor that can do this in Vancouver? Perhaps someone knows a doc that would be willing to do a complimentary procedure on me and I will document/blog about the results. I will happily donate my girlie parts to this scientific study and will then report back to the community…really…pick me!
Watch a video on the procedure here.
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