MODERN LOVESTYLES

My partner and I have always discussed doing anal sex. He’s had great experience with it before with prior partners, but as for me, I was traumatized with a bad one. It has taken me years to finally get over it, and my partner and I decided to do it soon. He apparently knows what to do , but I have no idea. We purchased Anal Eaze to help me out. However, I’m hoping someone out there will teach me, an anal virgin, a thing or two.

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:

Anal sex can be quite pleasurable, or when not done right, can cause considerable discomfort.
Purchasing a desensitization cream can help to numb the pain, but it can also mask the pleasure.  And if it’s not pleasurable, then why do it.  In addition, using a desensitiation cream such as Anal Eaze may inhibit your body’s ability to signal you when something is wrong.  And if you can’t tell when things have gone too far, you may open yourself up to fissures (small tears) and other potentially harmful side effects.

Instead of numbing the area, try some of these techniques to get you ready for all the pleasures of anal play for both you and your partner.

1. Take a shower beforehand
Some  people are adverse to trying anal sex because they are afraid that it might be dirty.  It is possible and maybe even probable that you may actually encounter some fecal residue from time to time.  This is perfectly normal, however, you can reduce the possibility of this happening by having a bowel moment and even a warm shower to reduce the possibility of this happening.  Plus, a soothing shower may help to relax you and get you in the mood.

2. Try sensual massage to help you relax.
Try sensual massage to help you relax and get in the mood.  The main reason that anal sex can be uncomfortable is the tensing of the sphincter.  A sensual massage will help you to relax and get in the mood making you more receptive to anal play by enabling you to relax the sphincter muscles.

3. Use lots of lubricant to ease entry
When it comes to anal sex, you can never use too much lubricant.  A good lubricant will make pentration smoother and easier.  Of course if you’re using condoms (recommended), choose a water based lubricant so as not to erode the integrity of the condom.

4. Take baby steps
There are many highly pleasurable erotic nerve endings around the outside of the anal area.  Start slow by simply massaging the outside of the anal area or even using toys and vibrators around the rim to enhance the pleasure and get you accustomed to being touched there.

When you’re ready, have your partner insert one well lubricated finger and gently massage and circle around the inside of the anal canal to gently stretch it.

Over time, your partner may be able to insert two fingers and then work there way up from there until you are finally ready for and comfortable with penile insertion.   Using other smaller toys such as small butt plugs and anal beads are great tools to help relax and stretch the sphincter muscle over time to help get you ready for anal sex.

5. Play safe
Bum sex can be risky business.  Be sure to cut your finger nails prior to inserting them into the anal cavity, or wear a finger condom to avoid causing tears.
In addition, once a finger, penis, or toy has penetrated the anal area, do not then reinsert into the vaginal area without proper cleaning.    Otherwise, you may find yourself with a nasty urinary infection.  The safest way to enjoy anal sex is to use a condom.

Be sure to keep in mind that everybody is different…some will be able to work up to full penile pentration fairly quickly while others may take multiple play sessions to work up to this level.  But, whatever you do, don’t “force the issue” so to speak.  If your partner is in pain, it means they are not ready.

Hope these tips are helpful.  We’d love to hear back from you regarding your experience so others may learn from you.  Play safe, and of course…have fun.

xoxo
Eve

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