Sexercise? Fat Chance!

Well, the holidays are over, the New Year is upon us, and once again, I’m left with five extra pounds of buttertarts and shortbread cookies to work off my *ss.

This week, I’m scheduled to return to Bootcamp, but after a three week hiatus over the holidays, I’m looking forward to that 5am buzzer about as much as electroshock therapy.

So, in one last ditch effort to find a loophole before the alarm goes off, I just have to know if perhaps there is a chance to lose the holiday pounds by combining one of my favorite things, Sex, with my life long nemesis, Exercise!

With any luck, I can skip the blood, sweat and tears of my proven exercise regime – Bootcamp with a good old fashioned roll in the hay (less the “old fashioned” stuff, of course).

Turns out, Sexercise as it’s dubbed, comes with its share of the good, the bad and the ugly!

Take this Sexercise video for example – .  Definitely the “uglier” side of Sexercise.  It’s like watching a bad 70s porn combined with a “Jane Fonda workout video”.  It’s one train wreck that I just can’t tear myself away from.   I sure hope “Sexercise” gets better than this…

Ask and you shall receive…the 70s porn workout video is quickly counterbalanced with what could be a great article suggesting that I can lose up to 300 calories per hour through Sexercise.  Unfortunately, it seems to lack substance and any relevant sources, but at least I get to enjoy this much sexier, modern day Sexercise video.  I can only hope that I burn a few calories while bouncing in my chair to the video tunes.

And…more bad news I’m afraid…  My search for “sexercise” videos takes a turn for the worst when I stumble upon this new “Wiifit” sexercise video
followed by Tom Green’s “Senior Citizen’s Sexercise” Video.  Yes, I really did say Tom Green and apparently his mother is just as mortified as I am (albeit for different reasons).

Ok, time to find a more reliable source to support my loophole…

According to “Julie Peasgood”, I can burn up to 7500 calories/year just by having sex three times/week.  And, I can burn 150 calories/hour engaging in heavy kissing.

And to help me with my workouts, I can add in this handy toy the “Sexercise Me Sexercise Ball” – the first exercise ball where I can actually screw in a vibrator and “get on” while I “get off”.  Talk about killing two birds with one stone.  I definitely have to get me one of these.

And, according to “”, I can strengthen my quads, hamstrings and abs while having sex.

Kerry McCloskey, author of “The Ultimate Sex Diet” says she lost 23 lbs in six months.  So if she can do it, I can do it right?

Haaaa…that 5am alarm clock is getting further away!

Until…noooooo….say it isn’t so…the number I’ve been searching for.  According to Calorie Lab’s very official sounding “Calorie’s burned during sex” study, I’m only burning about 34 calories/hour.  And that’s during VIGOROUS sex.   That’s nowhere near enough to replace the grueling burn I get during 1 hour of Bootcamp which is closer to around 500-600 calories.  Check it out for yourself…enter in your weight to find out how many calories you’re burning during sex.  Perhaps you’ll have better luck than me.

Well, so much for replacing Bootcamp with sex.  But it turns out that sex does have a lot of other great, healthful benefits.  Be sure to check out these last two sources for a bit of inspiration.

Sexercise…the hard facts

Top 10 reasons to have sex tonight

I guess I’m just going to have to do both!  Sweet Dreams!