MODERN LOVESTYLES

According to the Great Canadian Male Sex Survey, 93% of men feel that it’s important that their partners have an orgasm during sex.  But why then do 25% of women routinely fake an orgasm?  And why is it that only 57% of Canadian women routinely have an orgasm during sex (source: Chatelaine Sex Survey)?  Could it be that for some reason, women are still reluctant to tell their partners what they want?  Is it possible that old stereotypes still rule?

When I was growing up, it was cool for the guys to talk about sex and their “sexual conquests”.  Guys went out to the bar with the explicit goal of “gettin’ some” by the end of the night.  In contrast, if the girls talked about it, we were labeled as sluts or promiscuous.     And if we were the “one night” stand at  the bar we were certainly “not the marrying type”.

Ladies, it’s time to throw those old stereotypes out the window and take control of your sex lives!  If you’re in a relationship, it’s ok to talk about sex.  Men are not mind readers.  Start talking about sex with your partner, not the gals at the sex toy party (who can’t do a damn thing about it).  If your partner is like 93% of Canadian men, then he wants to know and he wants you to feel pleasure.

But alas, talking about sex is a sensitive subject that needs to be explored with decorum and panache.   Becoming sexually empowered does not mean storming in and venting about all the things “he did wrong” in the sack.  You need to “wipe the slate clean” and get ready to embark on a sexual adventure.  You’ll have far better results focusing on the positive…tell your man what really turns you on…right down to the very last naughty detail.

Be vocal in bed.  If you like what he’s doing, make sexy sounds or whisper in his ear “how good it feels”.  And if he still doesn’t quite “hit the spot” then show him.  And if you can’t show him because don’t know what works for you, then you need to engage in a little self self pleasure…Oh yes ladies…I said it…the dreaded “M” word!  Because if you don’t know what turns you on, how is he supposed to figure it out!  If you’ve done enough self exploration, you’ll have no problem communicating your desires.

And men, you’re not completely absolved of responsibility here…to take things to the next level, you need to clean the slate too.  Throw the ego out the window and get ready for a wild ride.  It’s possible that your partner has been harboring a few sexy fantasies that might just surprise you.  To keep things moving in the right direction, you need to be open minded and non-defensive.  Contrary to popular belief, we don’t expect you to know everything about sex.  We just need to know you’re listening.  Top that off with sexy words of encouragement and a few compliments (to help us get over our “body image” hang-ups) , and we’ll turn into sex kittens with an insatiable sexual appetite…and before you know it, your sex life will be topping the charts.