Tag Archives: love

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The past three months have been a whirlwind of activity.  Hubby and I have been absolutely buried working on the renovation of our new 8000 square foot events centre.    And now that I actually have a millisecond to breath, I wanted to take a moment to share a few points I learned along the way about surviving renovations in relationships…

  1. Everything you hear about couples and renovations is TRUE! (Now multiply that by one hundred and you just might have a sense of what it’s like to renovate 8000 square feet with your partner instead of just the kitchen or bathroom in your home.  (Let’s just say that Hubby and I spent a few months in renovation hell!!)
  2. No matter how strong your relationship is, there will be times that you will yell, throw things, cry, question your sanity, question your partner’s sanity and perhaps even consider throwing in the towel and just walking away. but you have to resist the urge and remember that when your partner yells at you in frustration (assuming it’s out of character), don’t take it personally. In fact, consider giving each other permission…and no, that’s not a typo. One of the smartest decisions we made during this project was to allow each other to yell, cry, scream and even throw a temper tantrum at each other as much as necessary during this project (kind of like a renovation hall pass). Now normally, I would not typically promote this type of behaviour, but extreme times call for extreme measures. And sometimes, you just need to throw the hoity toity “let’s all sit down over tea and talk nicely about how we feel” crap out the window. But, there is a catch. First you need to talk about the intensity of the current situation and ASK your partner permission. And secondly, you need to agree that once the project is over and the pressure is off, you’ll spend twice as much time reminding your partner of all the things you love and appreciate about them so they know the relationship is still rock solid!
  3. Things are so much easier when just one person leads. This doesn’t mean that one of you has to give up complete creative authority. It simply means that you should consider assigning ownership over specific tasks and decisions. Once critical tasks are assigned, do not step on toes. You must trust your partner to do the right thing, even if you know that sometimes they’ll do the wrong thing.
  4. Accept the fact that you will BOTH make mistakes and avoid continually pointing out your partner’s shortcomings as this will only make things worse. Your partner will appreciate it so much more if you simply show them love and support every step of the way. Honestly, does it really matter if they put the screw in the wrong hole. It can all be fixed so lighten up already.
  5. In the last three weeks before the soft opening, we barely had time to eat, sleep or even give each other a kiss in passing. We were bickering about everything. In all honesty, it was probably the most trying time in our relationship. But despite all that, we always found ways to pick each other up. Each time I hit a really low point I would tell Hubby and he would always dig deep to find the strength to pick me up and carry me for awhile. When Hubby was at his lowest point he let me know and I somehow managed to find the strength to carry him. The key was letting each other know when we hit rock bottom. Although working with your partner on a critical project poses some unique challenges, it also comes with the amazing benefit of having them right there by your side motivating you and cheering you on when you feel like you just can’t move forward any longer.

So, the moral of the story is that once again, communication prevails as the number one cure for relationship woes. If you’re under a lot of stress, ask your partner for permission to act in a way that is out of character for just a while to help you through the rough patches. But then remember when it’s all over, put in twice as much effort showering them with love and affection. In any loving relationship, your partner will understand and is there for you during the good times and the bad. Just one more way to make sure your relationship remains ROCK SOLID!

What’s so great about squirting?

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Hello, I have recently learned that I can squirt, and I’m wondering what are the things that women love most about  it? (because it didn’t happen while I was orgasming) I’m still not sure if I like it yet…am I missing something?

Curious

Dear Curious:
Squirting is different for everyone.  Some RAVE about it and describe it in legendary terms…the Holy Grail of sex so to speak.  While others can take it or leave it.  Those that love it describe it as more of a deep, full body orgasm vs a clitoral orgasm which is generally more like an intense short burst.  Those that can take it or leave it can do without the extra laundry that comes with the clean up.

Honestly, don’t worry about what other women love about it.  Just focus on whether it feels good for you.  Just be sure to try it a few times as you might find it gets better as you become more comfortable with it.  Over time, you may even learn to control it which can actually be kind of fun – and who says great sex can’t come with a few laughs along the way.

Is your Relationship “Suffering” from Spring Fever?

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Ahhhh… Spring is in the air.  Your mood is lighter, there’s a little extra bounce in your step, and you find you’re just a little friskier than you were last month.
You’re easily distracted by visions of the attractive girl in the mini-dress or the buff guy in the muscle shirt.  You find yourself flirting with the server at your usual lunch time haunts and your mind drifts to thoughts of amorous liaisons and one night interludes.
How could this be?  Is there something in the water?  Have you suddenly fallen out of love or lust with your partner?    Could this be the beginning of the end?
Not at all.  You’ve simply caught a wee case of Spring Fever.
Since the dawn of time, Spring Fever has been affecting our amorous behavior every year right around this time.  It’s triggered by a number of factors that go far beyond just the shedding of winter woolies in favor of tankinis, shorts and mini-skirts.
Spring Fever is actually driven by a number of critical factors that affect our mood and trigger our “survival instinct”.  Everything you’re experiencing is a natural reaction to changes in temperature, light and conception cycles brought on by the onset of Spring.
Temperature
According to a study conducted by the University of Michigan, spending time in warm sunny weather can affect our mood, memory and cognitive style (openness to new information and creative thoughts).  “Being outside in pleasant weather really offers a way to re-set your mind-set,” said Matthew Keller, the U-M post-doctoral researcher who led the psychology study.  Temperature can have a noticeable impact on our mood.  The more time we spend outside in warm, sunny weather, the better our mood becomes.  The optimal temperature is 72 degrees.
This ties in with a study by Timothy Werschler and Shiva Halli of the University of Manitoba, on The Seasonal Birth Pattern in Canada which is characterized by a birth peak in April–May, and a trough in December–January.    Across Canada, our temperatures average 22 degrees celcius (72 degrees fahrenheit) throughout June, July and August which account for the birth peak April through May.
Light
The amount of natural light we’re exposed to actually impacts our energy levels.   In the winter, when the days are shorter, the body is exposed to less natural light and as a result, the Pineal Gland produces more Melatonin – a hormone that impacts the body’s energy level.  The more melatonin we produce, the more sluggish and lazy we feel.  In the Spring, as the days grow longer, more natural light is filtered through the retina which results in the production of less Melatonin.  So, more light equals less Melatonin and in turn more energy.  And with more energy, we’ll be more inclined to mate like bunnies in the Spring.   The earlier onset of morning light has also been linked to the lifting of winter depression (SADS).

Survival Instinct
And finally, our natural born instinct to survive through procreation kicks in during the Spring.  Historically speaking, we have been pre-programmed to conceive in the late Spring and early Summer so that we could give birth in early Spring when food is more abundant and the climate is more moderate, thereby giving our offspring the best chance of survival.  Although our survival is less dependant on the seasons today, it is possible that we are still reacting instinctively to the survival mechanisms of our ancestors.
So next time you find yourself feeling a little more flirty and prone to temptation from outside influences in the Spring, lose the guilt and just enjoy the feeling.  It’s a natural reaction to “Spring Fever”.
Conversely, if you happen to notice your partner ogling that hot chick in the mini-dress, or buff guy in the muscle shirt, don’t take it personally.  Instead, take advantage of the amorous mood and turn the temptation of a Spring fling into an evening of frisky fun with your partner.  It’s likely that they are “suffering” from the same affliction as you and may just surprise you with their enthusiasm.

Syncrohearts (the game)

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Synchrohearts –  “It is not a “sex game”. It is a “love game”, based on all of the important relationship stuff like better communication, more intimacy and lots of fun and excitement. Great sex is just one of the benefits of playing Syncrohearts.”  http://www.synchrohearts.com
Designed as a tool to get couples to learn more about each other and their relationship, Synchrohearts reminds me of many other games – roll the dice, pick a card, do an activity. In this case it’s around a board that is shaped like 2 intertwined hearts.
It guarantees more love, more laughter, and more sex…but I must confess that didn’t happen.
I have a very competitive partner, and when he found out that this is non-competitive, with no ‘rules’ and no real ‘winner’, he was turned off, big time. He found the game to be ‘just a conversation.’ So, as I pressed him to give it a chance, there was already a bias on his part. I was still game – pun intended – to see what, if anything, we would learn.
There are 4 sets of cards – Insights, 4 Fun, Couples, Hot Stuff. When you land on the designated square you pick a card and follow the directions. Simple Enough.
I found many of the questions to be on the amusing side; no deep morality or ethical questions. That’s what I really like to sink my teeth into – it spurs some great debates in our house, and that usually leads to more laughter and sex!
Half way though we stopped rolling the dice, and started to just read the cards to each other. That was better for us.
Overall, I feel that if you are playing the game to get some serious insight into your partner, or to help open up a conversation that needs some attention, this might be a little on the light side. However if you want something non-threatening to play, and aren’t looking for something serious, this may work for you.  I recommend asking your partner if they play games to win first.  That’s the biggest thing I learned.
Review by The Goddess
2 out of 5

Lubricant Lickeurs – Coconut Orange Flavor (Hathor Aphrodesisia)

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I’m not usually into ‘fruity flavoured’ lube so this was something relatively new for us.
The fruity smell is quite nice; not overpowering or fake smelling. It reminds me of suntan oil – very tropical.  Because of the smell it’s perfect for the planned romantic evening, but not so much for the discreet encounter.  The scent is a dead giveaway for the activity it is designed for.
I would say its middle of the road in terms of runniness…it’s not too much, and it’s not thick and gooey, which surprised me as many of the scented lubes I have used in the past were very sticky mainly due to the sugar used. This uses stevia for sweetness. Safe to safe it tastes nice as well.
Near the end of our session, we could’ve used a dab more, but overall it has good staying power. It didn’t leave me, or my partner feeling icky, sticky, and running for the shower.
One final note, I do like the ingredients – natural. I can read them, and pronounce them, and I know, more or less what they are. Horray for natural.
Overall, a nice lube that I would use again – for a special romantic evening.

3.5 out of  5
Review by The Goddess.

Valentines Recipe #6: An Evening of Indulgence

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This recipe is for the most adventurous and involves a night at one of my favourite venues in town – Club Eden

CORNUCOPIA TOGA PARTY – CLUB EDEN

Come celebrate this day of lovers with all of your sexy friends at Club Eden!  This is the most decadent, extravagant event of the year as we cater to our guests most gratuitous indulgences.

We have a sexy masseuse who will be perusing the Lounge and Club Zone offering massages to to our honored guests, there is a chocolate fountain complete with fresh fruit and pastries where lovers can feed each other delicious treats, fun games with whip cream and cupid’s arrow that are guaranteed to tempt anyone looking to get things started,… and so much more.

Valentines Recipe #5: Good Vibrations (for him or her)

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This particular recipe is a little more naughty and is incredibly reliant on setting the stage and letting the anticipation build.  Here’s how:

Make a date with your partner for an evening out.  Book at least one week in advance to ensure availability. Once the date/time are established, set the tone for the date.  Give her explicit instructions to wear her favourite skirt and nice top along with a pair of high heeled shoes or boots, stockings are optional (but not pantyhose) and if possible, NO PANTIES.  Tell her to be ready to leave by a set time that you designate.  This will leave her fantasizing all week about what tawdry escapades you may have planned.

On date night, continue to maintain an air of authority.  Arrive well dressed (as if it were your first date).  Hand her a small gift box or bag containing a pair of vibrating panties.  Once she opens the package, ask her firmly to put on the panties and then show her the remote which you then place in your pocket, or somewhere safely out of her reach.  

Once she is ready to go, tell her that you will be in charge of her pleasure all evening and of course be sure to tell her that she is only permitted to orgasm on your command.  Escort her to the car, open her door and ask her to step in.  Just before closing the door, turn the panties on to level one and have her squirm all the way to the restaurant.  Do not tell her where your date will be held, no matter how much she asks.  Order her meal and drinks throughout the evening.  And of course play with the setting on the vibrating panties throughout the evening.  For extra fun, turn it on high just as the server asks her how her meal is.

By the time you leave the restaurant, she will be begging you to put the pedal to the metal and get her home as fast as possible.  Of course, you remind her that you are in charge of her pleasure all evening and you drive home at the speed limit to ensure your safe arrival.

Once you get home, have her remove the vibrating panties and slip into something more revealing.  Remind her that she is only permitted to orgasm with your permission.  Light the candles in the bedroom while she is changing.

Once she’s changed into here sexy attire, put the fantasy mask on her and lay her on the bed, or place her in the love swing.  Turn on the new vibrator so she can hear it.  Run it along her body and tease her erogenous zones.  Don’t rush it.  Let the anticipation build again.  Finally, insert the vibrator inside of her and let it sit there while you remove your clothing.  Continue to remind her to wait for you if necessary.  By this point, she’ll be begging for you.  Now remove the vibrator and finish off the fantasy together with an explosive ending.

Ingredients
•    One pair or vibrating panties with wireless remote
•    Vibrating Massager

Valentines Recipe #4: Sweet Sensations, the Ultimate Aphrodisiac

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This date focuses on great sensual products/ideas to treat your partner to an evening of pampering.  Think massage oils, soy candles, honey dust and of course champagne and strawberries.  You can find almost everything you need for this fantasy at the naughty shops down on Davie street (Davie and Burrard), Honey Gifts or the Art of Loving.

Ingredients
•    Valentines Card/Invitation with instructions
•    Display table
•    Red satin fabric
•    Confetti/candy hearts
•    A new piece of lingerie for her, or new satin boxers for both of you.
•    Bubble bath
•    Bottle of champagne with 2 glasses
•    Small candles or tealights for around the tub (don’t forget the matches)
•    1 Vanilla soy massage candle (sunset mountain) (honey gifts | $15)
•    1 blindfold – babooshka silk blindfold (honey gifts | $59.99)(satin – $9.99)
•    1 set of silk restraints – babooshka silk restraints (honey gifts $59.99)
•    Small bag of rose pedals (alternatively, you can guy “a bed of roses” (honey gifts | 24.99)
•    Relaxation or fengshui CD playing in the background.  Alternatively, you can purchase the exotica love berry CD (honey gifts | 24.99)
•    A selection of sensory goodies to run across your partners body
o    Small bowl of ice cubes
o    Wooden skewers (lightly trail)
o    One large body feather or feather duster (honey gifts | $9.99)
o    Small candies, chocolates or fruit (use tray of leftovers from chocolate lovers dream)
o    Whip cream

Directions
Set the stage.

1.    Print out a valentines invitation and give it to them in the morning.  Tell them what to where and when to be ready.
2.    Turn up the heat a little.  Nothing puts the damper on a romantic evening like a cold house.
3.    Run a nice warm bubble bath and stage with candles, champagne, music and a few rose petals in the tub.
4.    While your partner is in the tub, continue getting your massage and sensations station ready with all remaining supplies.  Light the soy candle first to give it time to turn into a sensual massage oil.
5.    Have your partner get out of the tub and dry them off with a fresh fluffy towel.
6.    Have your partner put on the new lingerie or boxer shorts.  You need to do the same so they feel comfortable.
7.    Seductively blindfold your partner and then lead them over to your massage and seduction station.  It is critical that you partner does not see or know in advance what you have planned.
8.    Light a few candles placed in safe containers to create the mood.
9.    Let your partner lie quietly in the designated area for a couple of minutes for effect.
10.    Then quietly reach over and pour the massage candle oil onto your partners skin and begin massage.
11.    Then gradually step it up a notch by adding in other sensory items to build anticipation.  Don’t touch the naughty bits until well into the massage.
12.    And enjoy an incredibly sexy ending to your evening.

Valentines Recipe #3: A Chocoholics Dream

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Think Chocoholics Buffet, fondues, indulgence, decadence, chocolate body painting and more.   This recipe will include recommendations for best chocolate buffets and chocolate shops as well as suggestions on creating a romantic “do it yourself” chocolate fondue.  Of course you can’t use just any chocolate…I do have some favorites to suggest …yumm!

Ingredients
•    Valentines Card/Invitation with instructions
•    Display table
•    Red satin fabric
•    Confetti/candy hearts
•    3-5 lit candles placed in a safe location
•    Chocolate Fondue or fountain:
o    1 small chocolate fondue or fountain (pick this up from London Drugs or the Bay)
o    3 tealight candles
o    Delicious callebaut chocolate from belgium (be sure to ask how much chocolate to buy depending on the size of your fondue or fountain.
o    An assortment of berries and tropical fruit (strawberries, banana, pineapple, kiwi, starfruit, passion fruit)
o    An assortment of delicious dippable treats (graham crackers, marshmallows, reeses peanut butter cups, grapes, orange)
•    Blindfold (sleep mask, piece of fabric)
•    Satin ties (satin ties from robe, pantyhose, ribbon from craft store)
•    Three whole roses in black window box
•    Small box of chocolate covered strawberries (Hand dipped and available at Charlie’s chocolate factory)
•    1 can of whip cream (on ice if possible)
•    2 – 4 new paint brushes for chocolate body painting (also available from Charlie’s Chocolate Factory)
•    One large tray nicely “piled” with your dippables.  You can even use a cool mirror here for effect.  Think “cornucopia” here.  You want it to look bountiful.

* Alternatively, you could start out at the “chocoholics buffet” at the Sutton Place Hotel, but get there extra early as it’s sure to be a sell out.

Valentines Recipe#1: Be mine…edible valentines

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Edible valentines from luscious creations are fun, flirty and unique.  They make custom cakes, naughty cupcakes iced with naughty bits and even Tic Tac Toe XOXO petite fours.  Throw in your own lighthearted, romantic poem and voila…you have the perfect valentines if you’ve only just started dating.
Ingredients

¨      Confetti/candy hearts
¨      Mini pack of naughty cupcakes
¨      XOXO cupcakes
¨      Custom valentines cake for two to share.
¨      Hand written poem ($priceless)

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