MODERN LOVESTYLES

If you and your partner have decided to take the plunge and invite other play partners into your fantasy realm, you absolutely MUST read my “8 simple rules to enjoy safer sex in an open relationship…”

Rule #1 – Don’t floss your teeth.

Don’t tell your dentist I said this, but please don’t floss your teeth within 24 hours of playing with a new partner.  If you’re going to be engaging in oral sex (which most of you likely will), flossing the teeth opens up the gums and provides a direct line to the bloodstream which can put you at risk for some of the nastiest STIs including HIV.

Rule #2 – Learn how to put on a condom.

If you’ve been in a monogamous relationship for a while and haven’t had to put on a condom, you may actually be out of practice. It’s important that you put the condom on the right way to minimize the risk of the condom breaking and to ensure that it’s not overlooked in the heat of the moment.  And ladies, don’t just leave this up to the guy.  You’re equally responsible for recognizing potential hazards to avoid putting yourself at risk.    Click here to learn the right way to put on a condom.

Rule #3 – Get tested every year.

Once you’ve chosen to be non-monogamous, do the responsible thing…get tested for STIs annually to be aware of your personal sexual health and that of your partner.  Some STIs have no visible symptoms, but many can be cured on early detection or at least managed to mitigate the risk of serious infection or transmission to your primary partner.  www.STDresource.com has a clinic finder that lists STD clinics in BC.

Rule #4 – Wear gloves – they’re smooth as silk.

For many, the use of gloves during sex may be reminiscent of your last trip to the doctor, but despite their unattractive appearance, they actually come with some easily overlooked, very sexy benefits.  Not only do they protect your sex partners from tears, fissures and rashes caused by hang nails and calluses, they actually feel better than the naked hand.   Add a couple of drops of lube and they will feel smooth as silk when you run them along ALL the naughty bits…perfect for hand jobs and penetration.  Oh, and don’t forget, putting on a fresh glove is so much faster than running to the bathroom to do a wash-up when you’re in the middle of that sexy threesome and want to pleasure more than one partner at the same time.   And that brings me to my next rule – don’t double dip!

Rule #5 – Don’t double-dip.

And I’m not talkin’ about a lottery ticket here.  When you’re in the middle of that sexy threesome, foursome or moresome, most get the condoms right when it comes to penile penetration, but regretfully, they forget about the other body parts…particularly hands.  Hands are on him, hands are on her, hands are in her and then before you know it, they’re in a different her along with the body fluids of her #1…ack!  Guys, please wash your hands vigorously with antibacterial soap before double dipping.  Or better yet, see rule #4.  And gals, if you don’t know where your play partners hands have been, ask politely, or have him wear a glove…trust me…you’ll be in ecstasy (safely) and won’t even notice the glove.

Rule # 6 – Trust your senses.

Look – Before playing look for any open sores, blisters or rashes around the genital area, anal area or mouth.  These can be possible signs of STIs and are not worth the risk.

Smell – if it smells funky, it probably is…and even if it’s not an STI…why would you want to take the chance.

In either of these situations, find a way to politely remove yourself from the situation.  If you’re too shy to say something or ask, then it’s still safer to find a polite excuse than to just “grin and bare it”. My favorite..”Sorry, I have to hit the ladies room…darn bladder always gets me at the most inopportune time”!

Rule #7 – I’ll be damned!

Dental dams aren’t just reserved for the dentist anymore.  There’s another type of dental dam on the block that’s perfect for safe oral sex.  A dental dam is a small protective sheet that’s made from the same material as condoms.  It’s lightweight, easy to use and comes in different colors, flavours and scents just like condoms.

As always, when trying a new safety “toy” for the first time, practice on your primary partner first and become a sexpert to avoid any of those awkward moments with arms length play partners.   Simply place the dam over her naughty bits to maximize your protection during oral sex.  Add a little bit of lube to the under side and voila…you’ll have her screaming in ecstasy in no time.  And if you want to increase her pleasure and have more control, have her hold the dam in position leaving your hands free to wander.

Rule #8 – Tell your partner EVERYTHING!

The biggest risk to your personal health, safety and well being will be when your partner finds out that you’ve been hiding something from them.  “Relationship” is the most important word in “open relationship”.  It’s about experiencing this together so be sure to tell the one you love everything.

Now have fun…and play SAFE!