Tag Archives: Sex Rant

Sexercise? Fat Chance!

Well, the holidays are over, the New Year is upon us, and once again, I’m left with five extra pounds of buttertarts and shortbread cookies to work off my *ss.

This week, I’m scheduled to return to Bootcamp, but after a three week hiatus over the holidays, I’m looking forward to that 5am buzzer about as much as electroshock therapy.

So, in one last ditch effort to find a loophole before the alarm goes off, I just have to know if perhaps there is a chance to lose the holiday pounds by combining one of my favorite things, Sex, with my life long nemesis, Exercise!

With any luck, I can skip the blood, sweat and tears of my proven exercise regime – Bootcamp with a good old fashioned roll in the hay (less the “old fashioned” stuff, of course).

Turns out, Sexercise as it’s dubbed, comes with its share of the good, the bad and the ugly!

Take this Sexercise video for example – .  Definitely the “uglier” side of Sexercise.  It’s like watching a bad 70s porn combined with a “Jane Fonda workout video”.  It’s one train wreck that I just can’t tear myself away from.   I sure hope “Sexercise” gets better than this…

Ask and you shall receive…the 70s porn workout video is quickly counterbalanced with what could be a great article suggesting that I can lose up to 300 calories per hour through Sexercise.  Unfortunately, it seems to lack substance and any relevant sources, but at least I get to enjoy this much sexier, modern day Sexercise video.  I can only hope that I burn a few calories while bouncing in my chair to the video tunes.

And…more bad news I’m afraid…  My search for “sexercise” videos takes a turn for the worst when I stumble upon this new “Wiifit” sexercise video
followed by Tom Green’s “Senior Citizen’s Sexercise” Video.  Yes, I really did say Tom Green and apparently his mother is just as mortified as I am (albeit for different reasons).

Ok, time to find a more reliable source to support my loophole…

According to “Julie Peasgood”, I can burn up to 7500 calories/year just by having sex three times/week.  And, I can burn 150 calories/hour engaging in heavy kissing.

And to help me with my workouts, I can add in this handy toy the “Sexercise Me Sexercise Ball” – the first exercise ball where I can actually screw in a vibrator and “get on” while I “get off”.  Talk about killing two birds with one stone.  I definitely have to get me one of these.

And, according to “Fitnessmagazine.com”, I can strengthen my quads, hamstrings and abs while having sex.

Kerry McCloskey, author of “The Ultimate Sex Diet” says she lost 23 lbs in six months.  So if she can do it, I can do it right?

Haaaa…that 5am alarm clock is getting further away!

Until…noooooo….say it isn’t so…the number I’ve been searching for.  According to Calorie Lab’s very official sounding “Calorie’s burned during sex” study, I’m only burning about 34 calories/hour.  And that’s during VIGOROUS sex.   That’s nowhere near enough to replace the grueling burn I get during 1 hour of Bootcamp which is closer to around 500-600 calories.  Check it out for yourself…enter in your weight to find out how many calories you’re burning during sex.  Perhaps you’ll have better luck than me.

Well, so much for replacing Bootcamp with sex.  But it turns out that sex does have a lot of other great, healthful benefits.  Be sure to check out these last two sources for a bit of inspiration.

Sexercise…the hard facts

Top 10 reasons to have sex tonight

I guess I’m just going to have to do both!  Sweet Dreams!

Sex is Still Taboo?

Today, I was contacted by a reporter doing an article on “the lifestyle”.  She wanted to know what it entails and what the scene is like in Vancouver.  I found myself getting into an interesting discussion about labels and stereotypes.  Why is it that couples simply can’t fulfill their sexual fantasies without being negatively labled a swinger, a kinkster, a freak, a slut, a sex addict, a lifestyler, a nympho…and the list goes on.  It’s no wonder we’re so afraid to discuss our fantasies.  God forbid if we do, we get laughed at, chastized, and left to eternal damnation.

Wouldn’t it be liberating if we could actually talk about sex openly?  Especially with our own partner.  But many of us can’t because society has taught so many of us that sexuality is Taboo!  You don’t talk about it, you certainly would never indulge in anything other than missionary position, don’t even think about self pleasure, and quite frankly, don’t have sex unless it’s to procreate.  And then, once you’ve repressed your sexuallity down to it’s furthest depths, you’re so sexually frustrated that you’d rather have sex with a stranger (without your partner knowing – yet) than actually talk about your fantasies with your partner.

Isn’t it time to break away from the repression?

Lez Hookup

I recently learned of a new speed dating event in Vancouver for girls called “lez hook up”.   Apparently, it’s a new networking event where lesbian and bi-sexual women can meet other likeminded ladies for friendship, relationships and maybe even a little flirty fun.  If you’re a lady looking to explore your bi-sexual, bi-curious or even bi-situational side, be sure to check out their website at www.lezhookup.com.  If you manage to get out to one of their speed dating events, be sure to report back and share your experiences if you think it would be of interest.  We’d love to hear.

Happy flirting!

Swingers Should be Outraged!

I came across an article this morning that absolutely infuriated me.  A woman was found guilty of running a swingers club featuring sex acts performed by young children, including her own!!!  What was she thinking?  And those that actually attended the club to watch should not only be ashamed of themselves but should also be held criminally responsible in my opinion.

Children should be protected and loved, not pawned off for sexual entertainment, and for money at that.  Children have nothing to do with swinging, sex or the lifestyle.  In fact, they should not even be exposed to anything remotely sexual until of course they reach the right age where it becomes necessary to educate them purely for the purposes of keeping them safe.

This woman and her club goers should not even be put in the same category as swingers.  This goes far beyond consenting adults fulfilling their fantasies in a safe environment.  Not only is it illegal, it’s despicable.
It’s no damn wonder that swingers get a bad name.  Swingers should be outraged.

Read the full article here.

Just 13 minutes!

This morning I was listening to a local radio show discussing a survey of Canadians where Canadian’s were asked…”What do you think is the optimal amount of time for having sex”.

The average that came back was 13 minutes….13 minutes?  Ughh.  I sure hope that that is for penetration only, but even then…13 minutes?  I know we all lead busy lives, but come on people.  Maybe if we spent a little less time in front of the TV, and more time being intimate with our lovers, the divorce rate might actually go down and people would have happier, healthier and more sexually fulfilling relationships.

Maybe we should designate a national day (or week) of SEX.  Where couples dedicate the ENTIRE day to SEXual fulfillment with their partners.

Now that doesn’t mean you have to take the day off work (although wouldn’t that be naughty).  If you can’t, then at least send your lover sexy, steamy, naughy, dirty text messages all day long.  Leave explicit voicemail messages on their answering machine.  Don’t wear any panties to work.  Go into some private area of the office (maybe even a bathroom stall) and take an erotic picture of yourself and send it to your lover.   Be sure to order food in so neither of you has to cook when you get home…that’s if you’re not already to worked up to eat.  Each of you buy a new toy or sexcessory to tease your lover with that evening.   Just go for it and have fun…but don’t forget to turn off the clock…we wouldn’t want it all to come to a screeching halt after only 13 minutes.

So what day should be designate as national sex day anyway?  Sounds like a worthy cause to me.